40 Days of Faith | My Lenten Journey March 1, 2017 | So, I’ve been sitting here tapping the keyboard for about 15 minutes now not really knowing how to start this post. Feelings of uncertainty flood my thoughts as I keep telling myself to just write. See, the problem is that this isn’t a fashion post or home decor post or even a post about healthy eating…it’s a post about Faith and posting about Faith isn’t in my wheelhouse. I’m not an expert on the subject (actually quite the opposite as you’re about to see) and I feel very vulnerable opening up about it. So why am I not sticking to the basic blogger script of what I know best (…off the shoulder tops and bright white kitchens…OMG!)? Quite frankly because I’m more than that, and as a part of this whole journey, I want to take every opportunity that I’m given to show you guys different pieces of my heart. Lately this blog has become sort of a burden in a sense. Not a bad kind of burden, but a good kind…does that even make any sense? Let me explain… For years, I prayed for this blog to grow. I prayed for it to reach people in a real way and provide a real source of income for our family. I put in the work and the growth came. God has answered so many of my prayers through this blog and has given me a business and a job that fulfills me more than I could have ever imagined. He’s provided me with a way to connect to people across the world and has given me a platform upon which to share my creative passions. But with this growth came a little tug on my heart. A tug to use this platform that I’ve been given to share more and do more. To not just share the pretty, but also recognize the weaknesses, celebrate the growth and to find joy in the little things. I have been struggling to understand how to put all of this into text…wondering how you guys will interpret it, because Lord knows I don’t always use the right words. Truth be told, I say wayyy more 4 letter words on any given day than is even remotely appropriate. Image Source Today I’m putting my worries, fears and anxiety aside and am stepping out of my comfort zone to share a very real journey with you. Today is March 1st and it’s also Ash Wednesday for us Catholics. Ash Wednesday marks the first day of Lent, a season in which we work to prepare our hearts and homes for the death and resurrection of Christ. Before you totally tune out because this all sounds like a foreign language to you or because you’re not Catholic, please hear me out… Let me be clear, I’m a back row Catholic. You’ll find me in Church *almost* every Sunday, but most of the time I’m making a grocery list in my head rather than listening to the Gospel. That’s embarrassing, but it’s true. So, now that that’s out there, you know where I stand…a very humble Christian totally admitting that I have some major room for growth. Typically during Lent, Catholics “give up” things. My go-to penances usually involve not eating Chickfila or drinking Diet Coke. I also tried giving up the F word one year and that didn’t go well. As I started to think about Lent this year and what I wanted to “give up” to prepare my heart for Easter, those things felt so empty. Like who am I really kidding thinking that not eating a waffle fry is going to bring me closer to Jesus?! Um no, that’s going to make me han-gry (hungry + angry) and that’s not good for anyone these days. I felt my heart wanting something more, a strong tug that I wasn’t used to. So what did I do about it? Naturally, I Googled. I Googled what I could do for Lent that would be more meaningful and would help me to actually grow in my faith rather than to just keep treading water. I found lots of off the wall ideas on the Google, but one idea kept sticking with me and continued to tell me that there was a way to bring this journey full circle with you guys along for the ride. So, here we go gals… I’m going to share a very real, raw and humble Lenten journey with you (should you choose to follow along). I love the “Lent Photo a Day” idea and have totally adapted a version of it to share through the lens of my own heart and i-phone camera. I’ve compiled a list of powerful words that I hope to use as daily gateways to dive into my faith and to share with you through photos and journal entries. Here’s the list: So why am I doing this again? I’m writing this partially to remind myself. If I’m being honest, the past 365 days have come with some of my highest highs and lowest lows. I remember vividly opening my heart to a baby last Easter. I was in Church and began the ugly Church cry for no reason ((Dan looking at me in a panic as he never knows what to do with me in these awkward situations)). I felt God tell me to put my worries aside about expanding our family and to open my heart to new life, which was such a freeing feeling. Now this Easter, we will be welcoming a brand new baby girl into our family and, while I’m still terrified, I take solace in His promise to me. This pregnancy was obviously the high of the year. She brings our family such impending hope and excitement…so much so that I feel like the plagues of the valleys of the past year have made my heart not quite ready for such amazing joy. The valleys felt low. I let the prayers that continued to come back unanswered turn into resentment, making it hard for me to find joy in my current phase. I let myself overlook personal growth and instead compared myself to others with more. I let motherhood overwhelm me one too many days…focusing on perfection rather than savoring the mess. I harbored hurt and was very slow to forgive. I got caught in the hustle of life and work and rarely slowed down to reflect on my blessings. I wrote all of that down to prove that I can do better. I know that I can be a better mother, wife, friend and family member…and I just need to slow down enough to work on it. I want to work on preparing my heart for this new baby so that she meets the very best version of me on her Birthday. So, I started the journey with the word “Ashes” for that very reason… Printable Ashes, to me, is a symbol of the death of something old and the impending birth of something new. A fresh start and a humble new beginning in the making… “…therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes” Job 42:6 I loved THIS video explaining Ashes and new beginnings. I plan to share each of my photos daily on Instastories as well as round them up weekly on the blog, along with short journal entries. I would love for you to follow along somehow…whether it be sharing your own photos and using the hashtag so that I can see your interpretation of the word or just following along in your heart. I hope that my journey somehow inspires you to seek something deeper or be better…because Lord knows I have a long way to go! I hope that you’ll join me and share your feedback along the way. If you made it here…to the end of this post…thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for letting me use this blog for something different…for something more personal and more real. It was the most freeing and terrifying thing that I’ve done in quite a long time…xoxo
Ashley says March 1, 2017 at 2:43 PM Wow! Thank you. Reading this has spoken to me more than I realized I needed something to. I’m also a “back row Catholic” and have struggled on what to do for Lent this year. The highs and lows have left me questioning many things, but I recently found my path back. I think this journey you’re doing is amazing — and I’m going to challenge myself to do the same. I can’t wait to see what unfolds over the next 40 days for you. Thank you for your honesty and for reminding me we aren’t always alone in these journeys.
Suzy Galmarini says March 1, 2017 at 2:46 PM I enjoyed your post so much today. I have been dealing with some same issues myself and feel like you wrote this to me today. Thank you. I needed it.
Elise says March 1, 2017 at 2:52 PM Go mama! I love your heart and admire it so!!!! And I love that even this sort of post can’t put your creativity in a box…you are blessed and gifted with your words and ideas, my friend. God rocks and so do you. I (we!) are excited to follow along, sweet friend!!! xxxxx
Sarah Hayes says March 1, 2017 at 2:55 PM I have followed your blog for a while now. As a ray-at-home Mom, I have loved all your fashion tips that have kept me being the “frumpy” Mom. So many times I have ordered something from Nordstrom based on your reviews. Thank you for this post! I have recently realized that I too need to approach my daily walk with Jesus in a different way. In order to be the best version of myself, I need to have a firm foundation in Christ. It’s so refreshing to see that I am not alone in this walk! Thanks for your honesty!
Sarah Hayes says March 1, 2017 at 2:57 PM *stay at home mom *kept me from being a frumpy mom. Haha! That is what I get for trying to multi-task.
Katie says March 1, 2017 at 2:59 PM Great post! I can relate to you so much on how you feel about your faith. I’m a cradle catholic, but I feel there is still so much more that I can do to grow deeper in my faith. I recommend signing up for “best lent ever” with Matthew Kelly. Each day, he will email you a short video with a message that will get you thinking about how to better yourself for God. The videos are relatable and the daily goals are totally doable. You will get so much more out of this than giving up chick fil a! Best of luck to you on your Lenten journey. As much as I love your fashion posts and beaitful home decor pictures, I love posts like this too.
Kara Harrington says March 1, 2017 at 3:32 PM Love your heart! This post showed your light – you are a blessing!
Deidra says March 1, 2017 at 3:50 PM Thank you for sharing this heartfelt post.Your blog is a go-to source of info on style for me as a new mommy 🙂 It is very courageous and so very sweet of you to let us in on this area of your life. Our faith is so personal, yet so awesome that we have to share with others! You have a beautiful family and may God to continue to pour out blessings upon you all!
Amanda says March 1, 2017 at 4:33 PM I love how honest this post is!! I too, am a “back row Catholic” and as much as we try to make it every Sunday, it just doesn’t happen. Thank you for being so honest about your Lenten journey and I hope to push myself to do better and be a better Catholic, that is much more meaningful than not eating cookies, (my go to usually for Lent!) I will be following for sure, best of luck in your Lenten journey!
Molly says March 1, 2017 at 4:39 PM I LOVE this, Mallory! I have struggled with the same concerns, feeling like there is so much more to me than what I share on my blog and am I being true to myself to not share more of my faith? I really applaud you for posting this and want to join in with you on the challenge! xo
Trisha says March 1, 2017 at 4:52 PM Love this!! Thank you for sharing! I too find it a struggle to walk with the Lord on a daily basis. It’s so nice to see someone who is in the public eye be so open about Jesus. I, too, prayed for another baby. I miscarried and became depressed and resentful. I wasn’t walking with the Lord and I should have relied on Him rather than my anger. I now have another beautiful girl to add to our family and looking back I should have relied on Jesus to carry me through. Thanks for sharing and will be praying for you ????
Kris says March 1, 2017 at 4:56 PM Thank you for being so brave! You have so many talents. Thank you for sharing this incredible gift! I eagerly await what you share of this journey!
Pamela says March 1, 2017 at 5:00 PM This post really spoke to me and is exactly what I needed today as the Easter season really kicks off. I’m a back to middle row Protestant that has unfortunately allowed the chaos of life distract me from God rather than turning to Him. What a beautiful and creative way to really purposefully look at what He does for us everyday! Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability.
Lisa says March 1, 2017 at 5:00 PM Thank you for sharing! Best of luck look forward to following along❤
Sarah Keating says March 1, 2017 at 5:04 PM beautiful vulnerability. I am trying The Love Dare and The Love Dare for Parents this Lent so that I can strive to better love those whom I love most on this Earth. God has given me the vocation of wife and mother and those are the roles I have to nurture most
Lauren says March 1, 2017 at 5:32 PM Its all about being ” real .” Because when it comes down to it.. ..isn’t that what almost everyone is searching for? ..the truth ..the real …the being vulnerable . Thank you for being real and thinking when is ” ENOUGH ” enough?!..Thank you for being vulnerable ! Xoxo
Denise says March 1, 2017 at 7:52 PM Love that you shared your heart! Praying that God draws you closer to Him as you walk with Him on this journey!
Martha Hauser says March 1, 2017 at 8:46 PM Mallory what a beautiful reflection I especially liked the part of being a better family member as I think many folks take their family members as just you know they’ll always be there for Me and I should spend more time with my career, my organizations that I have joined, etc. Then those folks are gone. Your parents. Your mother and father in law. Your aunts and uncles your grandparents and you husbands aunts and uncles. All gone. And you wish so much just to share and talk with them. But it’s not to be. All you have are pictures and memories. So to say all that focus on your family, having presence ,making time,not only with your immediate but your extended family members telling them how Much they mean to you and that you love them.
Elizbaeth says March 1, 2017 at 9:38 PM God is after your heart. Way to be submissive to Him! He can rock your world in the best way. I’m excited to follow along on your journey!
Gentry Adams says March 1, 2017 at 10:07 PM Love this Mallory! god is so good, so gracious, and so kind and I know he will use this time to grow you, change you, and do awesome things with you! Praying for your journey the next 40 days! XO
Rainy says March 1, 2017 at 10:53 PM Wow! Love this post! So extremely relatable. I look forward on following with this Lenten Journey. I was also going to recommend Matthew Kelly’s “Best Lent Ever” I have committed myself to this instead of “giving up” something. Faith is a hard thing to put out there! Be proud and confident! Love this post!
Joyce says March 2, 2017 at 9:08 AM Wow! Beautifully shared, Mallory. Thank you for being so humble. I think one of the most difficult things to overcome at your age is the competitiveness and perfection challenge (I’m older than you and feel some relief from it). I felt like commenting yesterday, but didn’t get around to it – I love reading about the fashion and admire your energy in that department. My husband and I joined the Catholic Church about 15 years ago. I LOVE the Catholic faith – it’s so beautiful beyond description. But, I constantly feel failure in my discipleship – your sharing “knocked it out of the park” today. May God bless you and your family with renewed grace this Lenten season.
Marquin Campbell says March 3, 2017 at 10:51 AM This is so real and honest. We are all just giving it our very best shot aren’t we?! Thank you for sharing your heart.
Julie says March 4, 2017 at 2:07 PM Wow! I just unsubscribe (I started questioning how important it is to spend time reading about material things/clothes , etc. seems so superficial) before I started reading this post. I am a Catholic and you spoke right to My heart I am going to sign back up (lol!) and follow along and participate in your Lenten journey. I have “given something up”(which has been years, since I had felt compelled to Do) but will be reading and watching ur blog and instagram too. Thank u for sharing and how wonderful to become a mom. Best thing in the world.
Jen says March 5, 2017 at 12:59 AM I love what you wrote. I admire that you were able to be so vulnerable on such a personal topic. I have some of the same struggles and every year at Lent I always feel like I can/should do better. Thank you for sharing. I’ll definitely be following along.
Melanie Grumieaux says March 14, 2017 at 10:29 AM I found your post so inspirational and related to you on every level! I’m a new blogger (also in NC!) and want to make sure I work my new found window to serve my Lord and Savior. I have not always known how to share my love and faithfulness but this post gave me chills and inspired me to share my struggles as well as rejoice in my growth with Him. Thank you for an honest, vulnerable and comforting post. I look forward to the next one!
Style Your Senses says March 21, 2017 at 11:42 AM Melanie- Thank you so much for this note! It’s absolutely all about using what you’re given as a window and I’m totally kicking myself for just now using this platform to better serve Him. congrats on your new blog- it’s been such an amazing and rewarding journey for me and I wish all of the same for you! Thanks for following along 🙂 Mallory