Tips for Visiting a New Mom in the Hospital with Lee from Do Say Give

Hi Friends! Today I have another darling friend taking over the blog for me and she’s talking about a topic that’s really fresh on my mind…Tips for Visiting a New Mom in the Hospital! Lee is the voice behind Do Say Give and she’s the queen of gift guides, super cute mom style, and gracious living. She’s a mama to 3 beautiful little girls and has another sweet babe on the way. Being a seasoned mom, I knew that Lee would have some wonderful tips and etiquette advice on visiting a new mom in the hospital and she certainly did not disappoint.

For me personally, the hospital is an overwhelming environment. There are nurses in and out of the room every two minutes, you’re running on very little sleep and you likely aren’t feeling 100%, so I only wanted immediate family visiting. Curious to hear your preference? If you have friends or family members expecting soon, here are Lee’s tips for hospital visits…

Hi! I am Lee Cordon, of DoSayGive, a lifestyle and fashion blog with a focus on how to be lovely and gracious in everything we do, say, and give. I am a mom of three with one on the way. One of the most popular etiquette topics on my blog is about what to do when visiting a new mom in the hospital (and what to say if you’re a mom that doesn’t want visitors!). So I am excited to share my tips with you today plus the clothing line that chic Texas mamas and mamas-to-be can’t live without during the summer!

Tips for Visiting a New Mom:

Don’t assume the new mom wants you to visit. To inquire, text her something like this: “I would love to come see the baby. Tell me, would you rather me come up to the hospital or wait until you get home?” This gives the mother an easy way of declining your visit.
Don’t bring your children. Unless they are specifically invited, please don’t do it! Especially when it’s a first time mom. They need peace and quiet, not screaming children playing with random hospital buttons and toddlers with snotty noses.
Limit your visit to 10 minutes. I don’t care how nice the new mother is being, nobody should stay in a postpartum room more than 10-15 minutes (unless you’re the grandparents, an aunt of the new baby, or her absolute best friend in the world.) Most new moms do not feel great after birth and are exhausted. You were thoughtful to stop by. She appreciates it. Now it’s time go to;).
Don’t bring your boyfriend or husband along. A lot of new moms feel awkward about having male visors when things are going on with their bodies that are just not that wonderful.
Always bring food or a gift. Help the new parents out by bringing the dad dinner, the mom an iced tea from her favorite restaurant. My favorite things to bring friends is warm cookies and milk – they are always quickly consumed because as we all know new moms are starving! Note: even if you already gave them a gift at her baby shower, still bring something along, even if it’s just something small. The point is to be thoughtful and helpful.

Texas-based Tiffs Treats delivers warm cookies and milk! (Lee, these were my FAVORITE gift to send for nearly any occasion when I was in Dallas. They are super yummy, too! -M)

Now I know some new moms relish in having tons of visitors showering them with balloons and flowers minutes after birth. Most of my friends are like that. But I felt pretty rotten after all my babies were born. Thankfully, by my third child I had learned how to graciously tell people that I didn’t want visitors until a few days after the baby was born (when I was able to get my bearings a little bit more!).

Tips for new mothers:

Talk to extended family before the birth to discuss your wishes/expectations. Express your desires for how long you wish them to stay after the birth so there’s no drama or hurt feelings at the hospital.
If you do want visitors, I suggest giving a specific time frame. “We are having visitors between 6 and 7 this evening and would love for you to stop by if you can.” There is nothing worse than wondering all day when someone is going to show up. Will you be nursing? Will you be in the shower? It’s miserable. If they want to come see you, let them plan their day around you. Frankly, I would rather have five visitors during that one hour than have them scattered throughout the day, wouldn’t you? Plus, that’s a good time frame because you can shower and freshen up a little beforehand!
If you don’t want visitors, use my handy “I know you will understand” line. “I know you will understand, but I am just not feeling great today. Can you stop by the house next week?” Believe me, people will understand!
To prevent any unwanted visitors, put a sign on your door. Unfortunately, some people do stop by unannounced. If you are worried about this you can always ask the postpartum nurses to put a sign on your door that says, “no visitors, please.” No one in their right mind will open the door of a new mother with that sign up! Leave it up all day if you want.
Don’t feel guilty. One of my happiest memories after my first child was born was the quiet room with just my husband and me while the baby slept. It is a special time that you won’t ever get back so don’t feel bad about protecting those precious moments.
Don’t feel bad for kicking visitors out. Some people just can’t take hints. So just be blunt and politely say. “Thank you so much for coming; I am so glad you were able to stop before I laid down to take a nap.” (The breastfeeding excuse doesn’t work because people will tell you it’s totally ok to breastfeed in front of them. People will not want to keep you from napping, though!).
Buy a lovely robe and wear it when you have visitors. Wearing a beautiful robe, or comfy lounge outfit, when you have visitors makes you feel about a million times better about yourself than one of those horrible hospital gowns.

What tips would you add to this visiting a new mom in the hospital post? Would love to know! You can read more of my what to do and what to say posts over on DoSayGive.com as well as the most thoughtful baby gifts!

Oh and one little fashion tip from this Texas mama: Even though they aren’t maternity, Mi Golondrina dresses are what lots of chic pregnant (and non-pregnant!) Dallas moms wear during the hot summer months. They are absolutely beautiful with their hand-embroidery and would make a lovely gift, too;). I totally agree and LOVE Mi Golondrina! I have one of their dresses that I’ve been saving to wear this week for Cinco de Mayo! -M