Style Your Senses
A Life + Style Blog for the modern millennial who wants it all.
January 3, 2016 |
Hi Friends! How are you? Still in a Holiday fog? I certainly am. It’s going to be a minimum 3 coffee morning for this girl. I can’t even tell you what a wonderful two weeks of stepping back a little, spending time with my family, and looking back at the year that flew past me. If you missed it, I recapped 2016 blog highlights on Friday.
Today I’m sharing my New Years Resolutions for 2016 and what I learned from 2015 and how they relate to the blog. So, let’s just all get on the same page that this post is definitely different than what I normally put out there…it’s more personal, vulnerable and truly reflective. This blog (and you guys, really) were a huge part of my 2015 and I wanted to write down everything that I learned and what I want to do with this little piece of the web in 2016. Be warned, no pretty pictures, just some heartfelt words. Skip this if that’s just not your jam today, but if it is, read through because you might get to know my heart just a little better.
What I learned from 2015:
Just Say NO:
I’ve spent so much time trying to please everyone else. Taking on too much, saying yes to something that I didn’t have the time or energy to do and really running myself ragged. I had a mild mental breakdown in September…while you were seeing pretty photos from fashion week, toasting in NYC with Better Homes and Gardens and room reveals, behind the scenes I was literally struggling to find time to brush my teeth. Right before I was supposed to leave for a big buying trip to Las Vegas with Project Nursery, I had to screech the brakes and ended up resigning from by role as the buyer for their online shop. It was a job I adored and loved my co-workers even more, so it was a really hard decision, but I knew it was the right one. I also have always taken Holiday Portraits for friends and family and also had to turn all of those down this year. Nothing is harder than telling your dear friends “no,” believe me!
Saying NO has been the most liberating thing that I’ve done this year. Taking my time back and using it to snuggle Landry, work on a project that I’m passionate about, dive in to my faith, or cook a meal for my family has been SO rewarding. The little word “NO” is now no longer a negative word for me, yet it’s now a declaration that the 24 hours I’m given in a day is precious and I will use it how I see fit for myself and my family.
Knowing My Limits:
Very related to the whole taking on too much thing we talked about too much, but I’ve never really given myself boundaries. I’ve always tried to do everything. I have so many interests and so many passions and I want to know and do all the things. This year I tried so many new things and, well, I ended up being about 50-75% good at each of them, always feeling frustrated that I couldn’t get to 100% (being a mom and wife included in this). It’s the most frustrating feeling to just fast forward through a day and just try to check the boxes off. I was cutting corners in all aspects and it weighed on me so much. I had to step back and set limits for myself. Learn how to be content. Focus on what I wanted to be 100% at. I want to strive to be 100% (and I say strive because I know full well that’s totally unrealistic) at being a wife, a mother and a blogger. Those are my three. I want to do them to the best of my ability each day. I want to pour all of my efforts and creativity into those things each day and lay my head down at night feeling like I gave them my all. Of course, I still want to play the roles of friend, daughter, sister, etc but thankfully those are all a little less maintenance and don’t require daily warm meals, baths, booty wipes, and so on….
Not Everyone is Going to Like You:
Okay this one was the hardest pill for me to swallow. It’s been 30 years in the making and I think that this year was finally the year that I embraced it. We were not put on this earth to share the same interests, tastes, personalities, etc as everyone else. Each person is obviously unique and noone is required to please anyone else. Since I put my life out there voluntarily on this blog and Instagram it opens me up to judgements, comparison and opinions. I’ve had to step back and understand that I cannot possibly make everyone happy and I’m learning to be okay with that. I have to do what’s best for me, my family, my business and what fulfills me creatively and do it with kindness. All of that being said, I’ve never believed that one should dull their shine to please others. So, shine on, friends!
What I want from the blog in 2016:
Work Smarter, Not Harder:
When I tell my friends that I work on the blog for nearly 40 hours a week, they are always shocked. There are so many things that go in to ONE blog post that each one written takes anywhere from 5-8 hours…DIY posts are sometimes double that and fashion posts are usually a little less. Then there’s also keeping up with Instagram, emails and business stuff…it’s definitely a full time job and it’s the best job I’ve ever had. All of that being said, I think that there are some things that I can do a little smarter and free up some of my time to try new things that I think you guys might like. A big part of this will be a weekly schedule. I’ve always strived to do this, but I think that I can finally nail down a framework for 4 posts per week that you guys have always been interested in. Will share tomorrow!
Be More Relatable:
I’m a total goober, like for realz. I’m oddly uncoordinated, as in I currently have a huge shiner on my left cheek because I fell UP a flight of stairs. And I NEVER have matching socks on, in fact, I’m not sure I even own a matching pair anymore. These are all things you’d never know because I can share as much or as little about myself as I want. I have realized that most of you following along are only seeing photos taken by a professional photographer in great light when I have a full face of makeup on and am dressed to go to a cocktail party. I also realize that many of you spend your days in the trenches (just like me), covered in pureed bananas and on your 3 cup of coffee and, well, ONLY seeing that “Instagram” side of me is a little unrealistic. I want to learn to open up a little more and be vulnerable. Show you guys quick snaps of what I’m wearing for a day full of errands or for a new workout class I’m trying, new products I like or things that make my life a little easier. Real life stuff. Is that okay with you? I’m still planning to do one styled and photographed outfit post a week (mostly because I really enjoy them) but everything else will be taken down a notch. Things will still be fashion and home decor focused, still be shoppable, and will definitely be things similar to what I’ve been doing, but just a little more relatable. That cool? (See even more of this on Snapchat where I’ve been sharing silly pics and videos and more about what we are up to on the day to day @styleyoursenses)
Slow Down the Hustle:
I’ve hustled this year. I’ve gotten lost in it all at times and have lost sight of what my goals were in the first place. Blogging is a funny niche…at times it feels like a very public popularity contest and any blogger would be lying if they told you that it was always easy to navigate. It’s often REALLY hard and it’s a really competitive space. It’s easy to get caught up in followers and like and page views and it’s exhausting. I want to slow down, step back and understand that I never set out to be insta-famous or to earn a full time income from this blog. If either of those things come my way, awesome, but that’s certainly not why I come here each day. I come here because it fulfills be creatively. It’s my personal space where I can share any and everything that inspires me…and most importantly, I come here for you guys. It’s so fun to know that YOU take a few minutes out of your day to see what I’m saying. So I’m striving to be okay with the fact that my path is not like any one else’s, but if I’m having fun, that’s all that matters!
Get to Know YOU:
Honestly this is one of my most exciting goals. I want to know who YOU are. I see you come and go each day, but I don’t know your name or where you live or what you like. Our relationship is feeling a little one-sided, friends. Whether you like to follow along via coming to the blog every day or seeing things on Instagram, don’t be shy, let me know who you are and what you like seeing! I truly want this little space to feel more like a community and would love to get to know you guys!!! Do share!
Whew, that was wordy and honest and I feel naked. If you made it all of the way through, major kudos! I hope that gives you a little insight in to what’s happening behind the blog, more of what’s been on my heart and mind and how I’m going in to 2016. Honestly, I feel so excited and motivated, eager to get back to a routine and dive in to this new year. What do you guys think?? Have a great Monday!
January 4, 2016 at 12:29 AM
Looking forward to reading in the new year! (Psst. I think you mean “vulnerable”, not “venerable.”) ?
Style Your Senses says
January 4, 2016 at 12:51 AM
Bahaha thanks girl! That’s what I get for writing a post into mid-night and trusting spell-check! Thank for following along, xoxox
cassie @ primitive & proper says
January 4, 2016 at 7:11 AM
my head is spinning because i have so much i want to say and was just saying YESYESYES the entire post through. you are gorgeous and always look fab, but i would love to see you on a more day to day normal unstyled basis- that is so much more relatable to me and as you may have guessed i am also a total goober. 🙂 i can’t wait to see where this year takes you and it sounds to me like last year was one big learning experience where you really got to know who you are and you you want to be. kudos!
January 4, 2016 at 11:03 AM
Thanks so much Cassie! You have been so supportive and inspiring over the past year and a joy to get to know! Can’t wait to see what YOU do in 2016 and am eager to watch your business continue to boom! xoxo
January 4, 2016 at 7:35 AM
Feeling exactly the same as Cassie. I’ve also been close to a couple nervous breakdowns and that’s also the reason why I’m not ready to come back from my break yet. Amen to everything you said. It could have totally come from my mouth as well.
January 4, 2016 at 11:14 AM
Julia- so glad I’m not alone, the juggling act is such a big struggle for me. You are killin’ it, mama and I can’t wait to see what 2016 means for you, your family and your blog…and I hope that we get to hang again!! xoxo
January 4, 2016 at 8:03 AM
Happy New Year! Thank you for sharing! I’ve been following your blog since you (and I) were pregnant and your Traveling with an Infant post is what subscribed me (throwing it way back!) Please keep the realness and continue to shine shine shine! You’re fabulous and it shows! xoxo
January 4, 2016 at 11:18 AM
Sarah, this made me smile so big! I actually thought about that post the other day as I was walking through the airport with Landry…How I talked about lysol wipes and sanitizing the seat and how now I wouldn’t care if she ate cherrios off the airplane floor as long as she was quiet lol. Thanks so much for following along all of this time, it means the world to me!!! xoxo
Suzanne Adcook says
January 4, 2016 at 8:21 AM
You go, girl! Totally enjoyed your post while drinking my second can of Diet Coke wearing mismatched sweats over my pajamas. Thank you for being a highlight of my day. Sincerely, full-time Mom, part-time nurse practitioner who adores all things fashion and home
January 4, 2016 at 11:21 AM
Oh girl we are soul-sisters! Thank YOU for being a highlight of my day today and such an inspiration! Rock on, mama and thanks for following along!!! xoxo
January 4, 2016 at 9:07 AM
I love this post and I love your heart!!!! You are one inspiring mama and blogger! Hugging you! xx
January 4, 2016 at 11:36 AM
Right back at you, sweet friend! I need a coffee date soon! xo
Kimberly Duran says
January 4, 2016 at 9:08 AM
Ohhhhh I love this post!! I’m right with ya there all the way. Sounds like 2015 was a wonderful learning curve (never a bad thing really) and I’m excited for you! I said ‘no’ to so many collaborations in December because I wanted to concentrate on having an enjoyable Christmas with friends and family and WOW it was liberating (even if it was a little scary). So this year, I’m going to learn how to use that little two-letter word more often. Thanks so much for the inspiration and I’m sorry I don’t often comment but I think you have a wonderful blog 😉 xxx
January 4, 2016 at 11:41 AM
Kim- Huge compliment coming from you! Right there with you, I think that December was such a good reflection for me and turning things down was so freeing. Thanks for always putting such inspiring content out there, it’s been so wonderful getting to know you over the past few months! Big hugs across the pond! xo
Beth designPOSTinteriors says
January 4, 2016 at 9:15 AM
Love it Mallory! This last year was such a fun blur but I am so ready for a little less of the frantic pace!
January 4, 2016 at 11:42 AM
Thankful for you, friend!
January 4, 2016 at 9:30 AM
Love this! I look forward to seeing what amazing things you will do in 2016!
Thanks so much Aanya! Appreciate you following along!
January 4, 2016 at 10:36 AM
i love all of these! becoming more present, staying mindful, and saying no are all things that i hope to work on in 2016. i also feel that when i am more involved in reading a book say, something spiritual or professional development, that i tend to stay engaged everyday. when i fall off of that wagon, even for a week, things go a little haywire. needless to say, i have a date tonight with my book and journal.
xo love your blog!
January 4, 2016 at 11:43 AM
We are totally on the same page with those goals, girl! I’m totally with you on a good book or journal and I made time for neither in 2015…you are inspiring me to dive back in! Thanks for following along! xo
Jen Stachurski says
January 4, 2016 at 10:45 AM
I love this post! I have been following you over the past year and my wardrobe has benefited from it, that’s for sure. I can also completely relate to spreading myself too thin; I often find if I don’t schedule time for nothing, I’ll fill every ounce of my day. Thanks for being so inspiring! I definitely need to work on feeling okay saying ‘no’ too. I am really looking forward to your blog and everything else to come this year. Also, congrats on all of your accomplishments last year – you should be proud!!
January 4, 2016 at 11:45 AM
Thanks so much Jen! I love hearing that you found some wardrobe inspiration here, nothing makes me happier! Trust, me NO will be your best friend. I’ve been a people pleaser all of my life and taking some control has been so liberating! Thanks so much for following along, I really appreciate it!
January 4, 2016 at 10:46 AM
Such a great and inspiring post! I’ve been following you along since I started blogging and I can’t wait to see what you have planned for this year. xo, Anna
January 4, 2016 at 11:46 AM
Anna, thanks so much for following along! Cheers to 2016 and what it holds for you and your adorable blog as well!!! xoxo
January 4, 2016 at 10:59 AM
I really enjoyed reading your post. I felt like it was open and honest. I appreciate that.
January 4, 2016 at 11:47 AM
Thanks so much, it’s such a crazy feeling to put yourself out there in such a public way. Appreciate your support! xo
January 4, 2016 at 10:04 PM
I love this post! I’m a new follower and started following on my quest for more Charlotte bloggers and I love your style! But I can’t wait to see more of the behind the scenes, more you stuff, too! And I love Snapchat so I can’t wait to follow there as well. Cheers to 2016!
courtney ( a thoughtful place) says
January 4, 2016 at 10:17 PM
Girl. I feel like I was nodding with everything you said. And no big surprise that we have even more in common. I NEVER have matching socks and it drives my family nuts. Ha. Agree with every single sentence. So proud of you and think you are so very talented. Love that you have put yourself out there and I admire your goals. Here’s to hanging out sometime in 2016.
January 5, 2016 at 2:48 PM
You are my soul sister. That’s all. Miss you tons and we WILL see each other in 2016 #makeithappen! xoxox
January 4, 2016 at 10:26 PM
Well you’re already accomplishing being relatable with this post right here. Love what you have to say and couldn’t agree more, especially when it comes to saying no, accepting not being liked by all, and working smarter. The more I accept that my point of view isn’t for everyone, the better I become at honing and expressing myself, which I hope makes me more valuable to the people who do like what I have to say. Now the saying “no” and working smarter parts… once I get out of my own stubborn way I think I may just benefit from that! Thanks for sharing your experiences and goals! Love reading here.
Arielle- you said that so perfectly and I totally agree! Once you understand that not everyone is going to like what you have to say, I do think that you feel more confident actually SAYING it! Thanks so much for following along! xox
January 4, 2016 at 10:31 PM
Awesome post, great to read! A good reminder to slow down and soak in all these moments that pass by so quickly.
January 5, 2016 at 2:45 PM
So true! And thanks for being my sounding board as I thought it all through on Sunday. I wish I could do my hair once a month, just for our chats 😉 xoxo
Amy G Babiarz says
January 4, 2016 at 10:35 PM
I really loved reading this, and for so many reasons. I loved it as a follower and a friend. Its so important for all your followers to see just how amazing you are not just as a blogger, but as a mom, wife, family member and friend. its also realistic and comforting for them to see that like everyone you have your bad days and struggles, but at the same time its also encouraging and fun watching you approach and manage the many hats you wear. What I love about you, and what is so inspiring is that you truly know a lot or a little about everything, and what you don’t know your so eager and enthusiastic to learn more about. I’ve said it so many times before, I don’t know how you do it really, sometimes my head spins, in awe of your accomplishments. So happy to see these goals, they are fabulous just like you. So proud of you and everything 2015 brought, and excited for 2016.
January 5, 2016 at 2:44 PM
You are simply the best friend that a girl could ask for. Period.
Kate Newman says
January 4, 2016 at 10:56 PM
I must admit I’m not a huge blog reader but I follow you on insta and after seeing your post felt the need to read this entry and it was wonderful. Vulnerable, refreshing and close to the heart. Whether we are working outside of the home, working as moms, or both you have put into words (wonderfully put words) how many of us feel. I like your reflections, your drive and your ability to take care of you so you can take care of others in 2016! Big props!
January 5, 2016 at 2:43 PM
Kate- thank you so much, that means so much to me. So scary to put yourself out there beyond the security of a professional photography lens and a face full of makeup, but I think that in the end it’s going to be wildly fun! So glad you clicked over from Instagram and I hope you’ll come back soon! xoxo
January 5, 2016 at 10:15 AM
You’ve put into words what I am coming to understand is the essence of a successful blog. Providing content that is more relative to folks’ daily lives creates that sense of community and friendship that so many readers are looking for. But, it can be intimidating to just put it all out there for people to see. Thanks for some inspiration to move forward with those types of posts!
January 5, 2016 at 2:41 PM
Michelle, you are so right! I finally realized that the bloggers that I personally identify best with are so relatable and are ones that I feel like I’m friends with even though I’ve never met them…ha! I’m excited to change things up a little…thanks so much for following along…cheers!
Shannon Claire says
January 5, 2016 at 10:47 AM
LOVE this, pretty lady! Cheers to a great 2016 😉
January 5, 2016 at 2:38 PM
Thanks so much Shannon! Now can you just move back to CLT so that we can discuss these types of things over coffee?? Pretty please!! xoxo
Gwen, The Makerista says
January 5, 2016 at 11:16 AM
I love this! So many things that I’m right there with you on!
Thanks Gwen! xo
LT Cruson says
January 5, 2016 at 11:46 AM
Proud of you, Mal! You are awesome!
January 5, 2016 at 2:36 PM
Thanks LT, you are such a sweet friend! Glad I got to finally hug you over break! xo
January 5, 2016 at 1:25 PM
As a follower from the stands I want to say kudos to being real! So much of what people post – bloggers and non bloggers – focus on perfection. We are not perfect and as a mom of 2 small girls I don’t try to portray that image. Life is tough enough and we moms need to stick together! It’s a journey and I am so excited to see more posts! Happy New Year!
Trisha- Thank you so much! I totally agree that perfect just isn’t possible in this phase of life (or ever, for that matter) and we moms should always be open and honest and stick together!!! Appreciate you following along 😉
What are you interested in seeing more of?