A Soapbox re: Mother’s DayMay 12, 2014 |First, I hope that all of you mom’s out there had an absolutely wonderful Mother’s Day. Lots of snuggles, kisses and hopefully a pancake breakfast in bed. Second, let me say that if you came here for pretty pictures of fluffy pillows or fashion tips, you’re out of luck today and might want to continue on with your blog roll. Today I need to vent, ya’ll. I need to talk about the most unexpected, unflattering aspect of motherhood that my 9 month prego self would have never dreamed existed. Moms hatin’ on Moms…. It all came to a head via Pinterest. Random, right? Here’s the story. Sweet Lynzy had me over guest posting on her blog while she was away on maternity leave. I chose to post about what to pack in your “hospital bag.” Fuzzy slippers, granny panties, and lysol wipes…pretty innocent I thought. I also sent along a photo of me in the hospital at 9 cm with my little chalkboard to document the very best night of my life. Welp, that photo got pinned. Over 400 times. Naturally, it drives traffic to my blog, therefore it is in front of my face a lot. And there were some snarky B’s who took the time out of their busy days to comment on how funny this photo was to them. ((Let me also say that I KNOW full well that I put myself out there and am clearly subjected to criticism, which usually doesn’t bother me in the least, but these really got to me.)) “I die.” “Funny …. any pictures after this! ? Strong epidural no doubt” …To quote a few of the ladies on the thread. I’ve seen it over and over again and could not stop thinking about how childish these comments were. Did it make me less of a woman for having an epidural? Did these women think that I walked into the hospital, got on the pager system stating that I indeed wanted to have an epidural because I wanted to harm my unborn child? Why did it offend you that my hair was brushed and I had makeup on? ((Let’s be clear, natural child birth and drug assisted child birth’s BOTH come along with substantial risks and I researched them both very thoroughly. And if you knew me at all, you would have expected nothing less than a full face of makeup for the occasion.)) I immediately wanted to justify my existence as a mother and spout off that I breastfed my daughter for a full year, I hand made all of her food from only organic ingredients, and that I do this without the help of any family. But why…this doesn’t matter to anyone but me and really I don’t expect anyone else to give a sh*t. This would also only lead to them feeling judged in return, if they did not share my parenting decisions. This was really just the icing on the cake of mom vs mom to me. Really, I think that it starts Day 1 and I will tell you I was blindsided. Susie Q pumps 100 ounces a day and she puts it on Facebook…wow I must be a bad mom, I could never get more than 15. Betty Lou Instagrams that her baby sleeps through the night Every.Single.Night…my daughter didn’t sleep through the night until she was over 1 year old…what am I doing wrong?! Jane Doe pins organizing tips and how she makes her own laundry detergent…geez I can barely WASH the clothes as it is, much less organize my house or make my own cleaning products…I must be a bad mom. Oh and let’s not even talk about the girl in the bikini flaunting her stomach and how easy the baby weight came off like a hot minute after giving birth…that took about 6 months for me and I assure you it wasn’t because I didn’t try. Everywhere we turn, some sort of social media outlet is telling us “what kind of mom you should be”…from how to feed your kid to how to clean your toilets and each mom’s way is the “best way”….and frankly, it’s exhausting. The point of the matter is that we are all in this together. We all share a common bond that is unconditional, relentless, and perfect love for our children. I, thankfully, do not know ONE mother who wakes up each morning and thinks geez “How can I screw up at being a mom today?” Instead, I know EVERY mom who stays awake each night worrying if she gave it her all to her child that day, nit picking every decision she’s made praying that it’s the right one. We already put so much pressure on ourselves to excel at being a mom, so why on earth do we judge each other on top of that. I don’t give a hoot if you labored naturally or had an epidural, fed your baby formula or breast milk, whether they are on a perfect schedule or running around like banshees, or if you have piles of dirty dishes and sticky floors…as long as your babies have fully bellies, are giggling at your funny faces, and snuggle you at night….that’s really all that matters. You kick ass, because you’re the boss in your house and I have no right to judge you. So how about instead, we all stick together and support each other? Tell your friends, your mom, yourself that they are doing an amazing job, because this job ain’t no joke…ya’ll it’s hard enough as it is. Boom, there it is, my soapbox. Wish I had known this from the beginning, because I would have spent a lot more time being confident that I was indeed a great mom and less time second guessing every decision I made. Hopefully, some prego mama’s read this and go into that delivery room knowing that your instincts are right and that you know what’s right for you and your babe. To respond to one of the questions on the Pinterest thread…yes, there WERE photos taken after this one and I am happy to share them with you….Although, deep down I HAD hoped for a natural birth, the epidural was amazing and I will definitely do it again should I be blessed with another child. The is literally right after my healthy 8 lb 9 oz baby girl was born. We did skin to skin and nursed for one hour and 30 minutes before I even gave her up for a bath. And for the first time in my life…time stood still. Giving birth to your children is the most beautiful and amazing day of your life…don’t take that away from anyone. You kick ass, you mom you.